I really hate this mood

I've been so fucking morose lately it's ridiculous. I know what's causing it, but that isn't helping. I can't seem to find the energy to care all that much about school work, I find myself just wanting some answers in the areas dominating my mind. I'm not sure what I want to do after school anymore, a problem made all the more urgent by the fact that I think I'll probably graduate a semester early. Though I guess that won't happen if I can't pull myself together and get onto school matters. It's not that I'm neglecting them, I just can't seem to find the energy I'd like to put into it. I need someone to talk to, not made any better by the fact that the one person who I listen to the most on other subjects is sort of biased in this, and the fact that all my friends seem to be telling me to do what I can't do, what I don't think is really the best thing to do (though I could be wrong about that) and by the fact that I can't even seem to get a satisfactory description of the problem out to let anyone help me. No one telling me to break it off for good knows what Z and I are like together. None of them know the effect she has making me happier and more complete. I can't talk to her because, well, she can't seem to help me, or maybe doesn't want to. I feel like I'm whining, which is why I'm writing it here, because here I can say FUCK YOU! Don't read this if it's depressing. I'm really tired of feeling so weighed down by this. And after this weekend I really don't have any interest in alcohol, which is probably a good thing. I seem to be stuck in the exact opposite position as her. She seems to have limitless prospects, meet all sorts of guys she "really likes" and wants to date. I can't really seem to find one that I really find all that interesting. Fuck it, I'd join the seminary if I was very religious.
May the road rise to meet you.